A Free Man
by Beezle'sgotthemusic
Summary: Sirius Black is an innocent man trapped seemingly forever in prison and haunted by the images of his past.


**"You'd have thought he was merely bored-asked if I'd finished with my newspaper, cool as you please, said he missed doing the crossword." -Fudge**

_**Sirius**_

_He leaned up against the dank walls with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Plumes of smoke swirled in front of his face and he watched as they rose towards the dismally lit window. What better place to hide than in a basement?_

_"You shouldn't be doing that."_

_Sirius swore and dropped the cigarette from right in between his fingers. It fell to the stone floor and Sirius scuffed it out with his shoe. Looking up Sirius saw Regulus standing like a shy little boy in the dreary light of the lone oil lamp. "What do you want?" Sirius said turning back to the window._

_"Mum...just she...i don't think she meant it Sirius," Regulus said quickly as if the words were wrenched from him._

_Sirius laughed bitterly and looked over his shoulder at his younger brother. The boy was but fifteen, gangly and sallow: naive. And here he was dabbling in the dark arts not realizing just what he was getting himself into. "Really Regulus," he smirked. "Are you that simple?"_

_"No," Regulus said indignantly puffing his chest out as if it would make him look more manly. It didn't. It just illustrated to Sirius how innocent the boy still was; how childlike he was in his trusting of others. He didn't know what the real world was like. "I'm smart! I..."_

_"Listen! Reg...do you not realize what you're getting into? Do you not understand?" The boy balked, he'd probably never seen Sirius so engaged in anything in Grimmauld Palace in all his life. "You make one mistake he'll KILL YOU! He doesn't care! Do you understand? He doesn't give a shit about whether you live or die."_

_The boy looked at Sirius with a disdain he had never seen before. With a look of defiance he stuck out his arm and showed his wrist that dreaded symbol swimming on it: a sure sign of death. At the time Sirius thought he'd never seen anything so horrible in all his life._

* * *

><p>Sirius gasped and scrambled back against the stone wall of his prison. Swearing profusely, each word getting weaker the closer the dark hooded figure came. Sirius closed his eyes and thought of James.<p>

Sometimes, most of the time, the thought of James was the only thing that could get Sirius to transform back into his animagus form. Now even his happiest memories wouldn't do, he had to settle for just the vague outline of a dead friend. That thought in itself was depressing.

It seemed more and more lately that Sirius would wake up in the middle of the night to find himself back in his human form, sweating because of some horrible memory he was reliving. It had been 12 years, Sirius thought slowly his mind more simple in dog terms. 12 long years. James' boy...Harry, was not a little boy anymore. He wondered just how old the child was. He wasn't quite sure of the date anymore, he hadn't been since that ministry buffoon had said it aloud to another prisoner. Sirius had sat and watched as he walked pass his cell, not even a glance in his direction, and to his own son's. Barty Crouch, the man who had thrown him in prison with no trial. Crouch Jr. had died since then, Sirius had watched through the square window in his cell as they unceremoniously flung the body into an unmarked grave. Served him right.

Sirius stood in the middle of his cell pacing back and forth as he heard the footsteps steadily get closer. As the inmates jeered and catcalled after the man he made odd little squeaking noises that resonated throughout the hall. A skittish one, Sirius thought wryly. As the rather round man came into view, Sirius said "Excuse me." The man squeaked and turned to face him. He was a portly man with wild grey hair and a terrified expression on his face. "Don't happen to have a newspaper on you by chance?"

The man nodded and reached into his long black robes pulling a coffee stained Daily Prophet from the depths of his pockets. Sirius reached between the bars and snatched it. "You know Fudge," Sirius said flipping the newspaper open casually. "I personally preferred you're hair better when it was in a ponytail." Cornelius's hand jumped immediately to his thinning hair.

"Ah but what age does to us," Sirius motioned to his own graying locks. "How's life at the Ministry been going for you?"

"Fine, thank you," The man said stuffily as he twirled his lime green bowler hat in his right hand and straightened his robes awkwardly with his left.

"That's good." Sirius said absentmindedly flipping to the back page. "Don't happen to have a quill on you by chance? Mind you could've sworn I had one at one point, must've fallen out my window." It was quite obvious that even a something as small as a Quill could make it through windows barred like that.

Fudge looked at Sirius suspiciously. "Why on earth would you ever be in need of a Quill?"

Sirius held up the paper as if it was quite obvious. "I've missed doing the crossword Minister."

Fudge huffed, "Well that's quite enough from you!" He reached out and yanked the paper from Sirius' grasp. "Honestly," the man mumbled.

As he stalked on Sirius yelled happily after him "It was nice chatting with you Cornelius!" All was fine. He'd seen the date, March 21st 1993.

* * *

><p><em>"Sirius," James said in surprise. "That's not a half-bad idea, why I'll ask peter tomorrow! See Lily we don't need Dumbledore after all..." The words echoed in his head as he stood in the kitchen. The very place they had discussed the plan not three months prior.<em>

_He couldn't sob, not a tear. Nor could he make himself go back into the living room. He couldn't make himself get up off the kitchen chair. He'd seen James, cold and unmoving almost like he was sleeping except James couldn't sleep with his eyes open. He couldn't bring himself to even go and see Lily. He knew what devastation he would find up there. A dead wife and son._

_Sirius put his face in his hands. " ello!" Sirius jumped and reached for his wand. "'ello!"_

_"Hagrid!" Sirius said in a broken voice. "It's over, their dead."_

_The bushy haired man stood there his eyes welling over with emotion, "Ya see tha' in there? Ya see James?"_

_Sirius nodded and as he did so noticed the cutting sound of an young baby without his parents. Sirius sank lower into his chair as Hagrid walked up to the room, the inside of which Sirius had been able to see on his motorcycle. The whole roof had been blasted off._

_"e's sleepin' now. Want ter go outside?" It was like an unspoken agreement between them that this house was not to be disturbed anymore this night._

_The pair sat on the sidewalk curb, Hagrid gingerly holding the slumbering baby and Sirius looking at his shoes, maybe they were a gift from James. He doesn't know. "Hagrid, give him to me...I," Sirius paused and took a deep breath holding back the tears. "It's what James would've wanted."_

_"Ya probaly right. I would if I could but E'm acting on Dumbledore's orders ya see."_

_"I'm his Godfather, I'm suppose to..."_

_"E'm sure once Dumbledore gets this all sorted out ya can take care of 'im but 'til then ya gunna have ter wait."_

_Sirius put his head in his hands. "Hagrid, I don't think I...I...how can they be dead?" Sirius whispered. Hagrid shook his head giant tears rolling swiftly down his cheeks and catching in his beard. "First there was Regulus,then Marlene, Gideon & Fabien and then Alice & Frank but Lily & James."_

_"I know, of all of em i thought sure's they was gunna make it."_

_Sirius shoulders began to shake and suddenly he couldn't control it. He weeped. "It's alright, ever'thing'll be alright. Jus' ya see." Hagrid crooned. Sirius couldn't help but think that if James had been there he'd mention something about how Hagrid sounded like he was tending to one of his vicious beast. Ones like that dratted Spider in the forest they'd had a run in with that thing once or twice._

_The thought only made Sirius cry harder. He'd never cried so hard in his life. Not when his mother had branded his back with the fire skewer not when he'd almost killed Snape not even when Regulus had become a death eater, he never cried that hard again._

* * *

><p>Sirius scratched his ear and sat down on his haunches. It wasn't as hard as he'd thought it was going to be, in fact it really was quite easy seeing as he had nothing else to focus on. It was now May 22nd, according to his cell wall. He wondered why he hadn't recorded the dates before it almost made him feel normal. Or as normal as an innocent man in prison can get.<p>

Harry would be almost done with his 2nd year by now. Sirius thought back on his second year fondly, that had been when they'd first found out Remus was a werewolf. Being the little git's they were they'd thought it was cool.

Sirius looked up at the date (May 22nd) with satisfaction, things easily satisfied him as a dog. He figured it was all that kept him sane being a dog half the time. It didn't seem to affect him, the despair of the place, as much when he was a dog. Sometimes he even felt almost...happy. At least he could think the word when he was a dog, the idea of him thinking such a word as a human was laughable.

* * *

><p><em>"Tell me that again!" Sirius shouted.<em>

_"Sirius I'm sorry but we believed that your brother is..." Albus Dumbledore sat in his chair watching Sirius almost-curiously-as he paced the room._

_"Of course he is, of course he is. Of course he is, no surprise there."_

_Dumbledore simply raised his eyebrows. "It's not as if he was my real brother anyway."_

* * *

><p>He was looking at the Calender (June 14th) when suddenly the idea hit him. He was now a skinny man, 12 years in prison had seen to that, and a skinny man made a skinny dog. And hadn't just yesterday he marveled at how the Dementors hadn't even noticed him as he swiped at a rat outside his cell.<p>

Why the idea came to him just as easily as ideas had come to him as a young man. It was almost as if it was his time. Sirius Black had never much believed in any higher power, but that day he was a believer.

As soon as the idea was conceived in his mind he walked over to the bars and easily slipped through them. Sirius had never thought he would've ever been grateful for all those nights he sat starving in the corner of his cell. He trotted past the Dementors as easily as if he were a free man, why it was almost as if they couldn't tell he was there.

As he slipped out of the gates he continued to walk through the pouring rain till he was a safe distance away. He was a man again, a dirty, emaciated man with long tangled hair and unclipped fingernails. But He was a man. Sirius fell to his knees and raised his face to the sky taking in a deep breath. The rain pelted his face; he hadn't felt so alive in years. The air was clean, breathable not tainted with despair. He hadn't laughed so hard since he'd found Peter.


End file.
